I want to make a zoo with you.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
