im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
