i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
