There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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