What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
