You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I AM VODKA MAN
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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