I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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