just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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