Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I need moral support for this bender
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
