her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
