just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He felt like a one man threesome
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
