I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Randomize
