Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
