I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
