I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
