I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
