I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
