My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize