Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
