my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
