My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
