the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
