Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I would fuck him just for his dog
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
