he thought i was a dude.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
