Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
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