Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize
