She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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