Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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