it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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