Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
