There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize