You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
