You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize