this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
