Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
