I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
