i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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