If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
it's great music for shaving your balls
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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