I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
