You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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