he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
