Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
