Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
