i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize