I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
