are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize