There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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