I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
