it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
