You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
