She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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