His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
