this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
