i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
