He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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