I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
