yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
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