You made me cry and you don't even care
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
